Pale horse 

I have forgotten my medication for the past 2 days and lately the effects are a lot less forgiving than before. 

The nightmares have me waking up in a cold sweat full of fear. The days drag on and in them comes anxiety that grips my insides…moments that have me frozen in a state of insurmountable panic. I stare off in a daze until it passes. 

I’ve somehow managed to drive home completely unaware of how I did it. 

But…I can only blame myself for forgetting something I can’t live normally without. 

What I wanted, frankly, was someone who would argue me out of the things that I was thinking. -Agatha Christie, The Pale Horse 

 …As I take this pill I also take with it the fear that my life is inextricably tied to it. 

It’s as much a part of my life as anything could be and I’m bitterly grateful. 


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