You don’t like me when I’m me. 

Caring and nice and pleasant and easy-going: what people have said about me.

Do they know I am me + medication? 

My emotions are dull and weakened…nothing offends or hurts. Say what you will…I will probably laugh.

Take away my medicated bubble however, and what am I? 

I get hurt, and you dismiss it as a joke.

I am upset, and you tell me I am being unreasonable. 

You don’t know what to say in response to me because this me, you’re unfamiliar with. You don’t know how to handle me here, and I can bet you’re hoping it’s a moment and like the tides, will shift.

I have been this person to you, now I seem to be another.

Can you like me as I am, or am I too foreign…

Was I more palatable subdued and devoid of extreme? 

I want to be loved…but I fear I can only be truly loved when I am acceptable. Is this risk I’m taking, seeing myself emerge from this shelter, worth it or am I on the verge of ruining every steady relationship? 

I want to know the true me again. 

I want to feel my aches and pains and every color of my emotions. 

But I continue to ask….is it worth it…

4 thoughts on “You don’t like me when I’m me. 

  1. allisfigureoutable February 8, 2017 / 13:35

    I really relate with this. It’s such a difficult thing to decide if you can let the real you out instead of the surface you. Especially when you reveal it and ya not accepted.

    Liked by 1 person

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