What a girl wants…

*inspired by true events*

Recently I had a deep, heartfelt conversation with a close friend of mine. We discussed how invaluable it is having strong and caring women in our lives. 

Women tend to be hard on themselves, women they know and even other women they don’t know. Why?? 

An interesting literature review by  Tracy Vaillancourt talks about indirect aggression  between human females as a competition strategy. 

If you read it, it seems visceral; actions that are based upon instinct with no real reason or emotional intelligence behind them.

I guess you could say there is thought behind some of the actions, because they can be catty, demeaning and rude.

I know I’ve been hurt by the action of other females, yet I also know I am no saint. 

In my early 20’s I was convinced I could only get along with men. “I don’t really get along with girls,” is a phrase I’m sure a lot of us have uttered. In retrospect, I feel that being in the military, I felt I had to get along with the men. I would be “one of the guys,” as pathetic as that sounds to me now, I believed that. 

I see now how much that only added to my pain and frustration. 

As women, we have this opportunity to offer support in a way that we so badly need. Only we understand what it’s like in this society and how difficult it can be to maintain an identity yet be accepted and looked at in a positive light. 

I have a few close girl friends but they each hold a universe of knowledge and grace inside them. The love I have for them only grows with every heartbreak, success and failure I endure. They are there for me. That fierce loyalty is only  overshadowed by their caring nature. 

I only hope I can be as strong for them. 

By my side

As nice as it is taking time to be thankful on this particular day, I feel it’s important to be grateful every day for all of the little things that sometimes go unnoticed:

The moments in between dark times…where I can breathe freely with none of the static in my mind and chest; 

My husband that listens without trying to fix things and knows I need to just be;

My sister that allows me the opportunity to share things I’ve learned, and to learn more;

My few but close friends that are precious gems in my life…bringing their own facets of light;

My furbaby Kona, that has given me the best therapy a life could offer.

All of these things I know I have taken for granted on many occasions but without one, I’d most surely fall apart.

Every day, I need you guys. 

And for every day, I am grateful.